How to Ditch Ego and Reinvent Your Life (#93)

Staying in your corporate job because your ego loves the praise, the validation, and the status it brings? You’re not alone.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about one of the biggest road blocks high-achieving women face when trying to leave their six-figure corporate career: ego.

Your ego has carefully crafted a version of you that looks successful on the outside—but may be hiding burnout, dissatisfaction, and a yearning for something more. 

The thought of letting go of that identity? Terrifying. 

But here's the truth: that persona you built to succeed in corporate is not the real YOU. And clinging to it is keeping you stuck.

In this honest conversation, I break down:

✅ Why ego is really so afraid of change

✅ How corporate women become addicted to praise and recognition

✅ What it means to wear a “mask” and how it keeps you in survival mode

✅ The hard truth about pride and how it clouds your decision-making

✅ Why you must separate your persona from your purpose to truly reinvent your life

You’ll also get powerful journaling prompts and mindset shifts to help you step out of ego and into your most authentic self.

Whether you're preparing to leave your corporate job or already building your next chapter as a coach, consultant, or speaker—this episode is a must-listen.

If you're looking for additional support through coaching, visit my website to learn more about working together and my signature program EDIT Your Life™: www.karinfreeland.com/life-coaching

Then book a call here!

Not ready for coaching? Get a copy of my self-help book: Grab Life by the Dreams!

Transcript

Karin Freeland: 0:00

Welcome to Rock Your Reinvention, where I help high-achieving career women like you get unstuck, make your corporate exit strategy, and successfully transition to your next chapter. Hi, I'm your host, Karin Freeland, a certified life coach and corporate exit strategist. Whether you want to start a business, become a speaker, or something else, I'm here to give you the tools and strategies to shift your mindset, build your confidence, and take bold actions so you can rock your reinvention. Ready? Let's go. Today we are talking ego. This is probably one of the biggest obstacles the women I coach face outside of money. And if you think about it, they really go hand in hand, right? You're a high achieving woman, a high earning professional. You've spent years building your career and now you want to make a change. Not only do you have to be okay with potentially earning less, but you also need to embrace a completely new identity. And your ego doesn't like either of these changes. Why? Because your ego has quite literally built this persona of you. And when you reject it, you're basically rejecting your ego. Unfortunately, your ego is not going to take this lying down. It's going to fight back. Your ego is going to feel bruised and want to maintain its power over you. But now that you know that, you can be prepared for it and reclaim your power. So today I want to unpack a few things that have been helpful for me and my clients in overcoming our egos, especially when we're considering a move like leaving corporate. You're definitely gonna wanna take some notes. So if you can, have something to write down your thoughts as they come up. And I hope that you will be able to unearth a lot of those thoughts and emotions that you haven't been able to label before and kind of really understand where they're coming from so that they aren't in the driver's seat. Okay, so here we go. The first thing you need to do when battling your ego is lean into your ego's desires. Yeah, go ahead and just let your ego take control for a minute, right? I had a client who recently confessed that she loves when her boss praises her. She's thrilled when her team makes comments about what a great leader she is. And she's over the moon when peers recognize her brilliance. And so her main concern about leaving the corporate world is how is she gonna feel when she no longer works a typical job? How will she feed her ego? She enjoys that. And that's a big hole that's now gonna be missing for her. See, because for her and for many of my clients, right, this is very black and white. You feel like you can only feed your ego in corporate, but nowhere else. So I'm gonna shatter that belief for you today because it's false. There are so many other places that you can feed your ego from. And you've put so much into yourself, into your job. You've put so much time and energy focusing on your career that right now that probably is the main source of sustenance for your ego. But there's so many other ways that you can lean into this. So a great way to overcome your ego is to start exploring all the ways that you can experience validation, praise, ego boosting in your new career, in that next chapter, that reinvention that you're gonna go through. So if you're starting a business, you're certainly gonna be praised by your clients, by your peers, by your team if you have a team, partners, vendors, people that you work with. If you become a speaker, your audience members, your podcast audience, those people who you talk to, they're gonna be praising you. If you write a book, your readers or your followers on social media are going to validate you and give you praise and kudos. And all of a sudden when you start listing these things out, you realize there's going to be no shortage of praise in your new career. It's just that you've always gotten it from this one area. So you haven't been thinking about the other ways that you could feed your ego. And then what about outside of your nine to five? It might be from your spouse, from someone in a volunteer capacity, or from another family member or friend. I will tell you my husband boosts my ego all the time around my cooking. And I was a terrible cook when I first left corporate. And when he was working longer hours and I was the one home making the meals and like, I could just kind of see on his face. Sometimes he just took one for the team and ate the dinner, but he really wasn't that happy. But over the past five years, as I've gotten better, more creative, I tried new recipes. I've just sort of learned the basics of cooking because he never did it before. He praises me all the time. The other day he was just saying like the cauliflower was better than the main dish. He's like, and that's saying something because who likes the sides? Like you've just made vegetables delicious. So I want you to also think about new ways that you might develop outside of corporate, where you will get praise that you probably might even have a hard time dreaming some of these up because you don't even know. I could have never told you that I would be a really good cook. Right. And if you take the time to list all of this out, your ego is very quickly going to see that it will be satiated outside of your traditional corporate gig. What a relief, right? So now your ego can get on board with all the changes because it's not like a complete absence of it, right? We're not completely shutting it down. We're giving it a little food in this new way. Now, the second thing to consider here is where is our ego coming from? Your ego is merely a mask. And if you are like me, that is slightly triggering. Okay, quick backstory. So back in my acting days when I lived in New York City, I went to meet with a very popular acting teacher at a very popular acting school. And of course I wanted to put my best foot forward. So, you know, I got all dolled up looking like a million bucks and I go in there and very polite and bubbly. And like, I'm saying all the right things, like what I think she wants to hear from me, you know, my typical high energy personality. Well, a few minutes into the conversation, she looks at me and she says, I'll let you in, but I don't think you're going to make it. And If you want to be successful, you have to learn to take your mask off. Like insert record scratch here. I was floored, you know? And internally I was like, what the F you know? Like, who are you? Who do you think you are to have this? Tell me about my mask or whatever. Like, I'm just trying to be nice lady. But a piece of me was really rebelling that she had seen through it all. How did she know I'm wearing a mask? Like what? I was so confused and I was really offended, but of course I have my mask on, right? Like we just met. Wasn't that what you do when you meet someone? Like you don't show up and bear everything, right? But anyway, we all have masks. And if you want to overcome your ego, you really have no choice but to ditch it. Our ego has learned over time what is acceptable and what's not. what part of ourselves we can show and what we need to hide. And because of this, your ego is partly trying to protect you and partly not even real. It's just a figment of your imagination, of your circumstances, of your environment. And when we live in this egocentric state, we're constantly in a state of anxiety. Is this all starting to click now? Is this like starting to make some sense? Because your ego needs to be fed. And because it needs to be fed, it always has to perform. You can never fail or make a mistake. You are perpetually in the fight or flight mode. You're always seeking approval. You're always seeking validation. And to take it one step further, if you ever have to do something outside your comfort zone, like leave corporate and start a business, finally pitch yourself as a paid speaker, I don't know, take your expertise and start offering consulting on the side, you're gonna self-sabotage because the risk feels too great because you don't wanna fail. There's no room for failing in your ego's persona. So the question becomes, do you really wanna live like this anymore? What would happen if you let go of the mask and you focused on taking the right steps to live a more fulfilling life, to get where you really wanna go in your career, to achieve those big goals. How would you experience more ease in your life if you let go of your ego? What would you do differently if your ego wasn't in the driver's seat? You know, these are some great questions for you to journal on and really dig into and get a little bit deeper. I highly encourage you to come back or like hit replay on this, write those questions down and then go journal on them. So it's time to take off the mask. It's time to let that persona that you've created go. And now let's talk about the third step. And this next one might be the hardest of all to reckon with because of your ego and because of this mask and you've built up this persona. And everyone in your world knows and loves or tolerates that persona. Let me give you an example. When I was in corporate as chief of staff for a tech company, I had built up a persona to protect me in that environment, right? I knew what I needed to say, how I could show up, what was acceptable, what wasn't. And so I also had a bit of a reputation for being somewhat of a pit bull, right? Like a dog on a bone, according to our CMO. But let me assure you, he did not mean this in a good way. He meant I was annoying the crap out of him, constantly chasing him down to get what the president wanted. And it was like too much. At the same time, women in our organization looked up to me because I was the first chief of staff in that division who was female. They thought I had it all together. Look at her. She's like the epitome of working mom. She's got a good job, a good salary. She's in with the C-suite. She's happily married. what wasn't to love but they had no idea that i was secretly crumbling behind the scenes i was drinking more than ever right like there were so many things my husband and i were like in probably one of our rocky estates but no one had any idea so here's the thing my ego loved all the praise and attention but that wasn't even me no one actually loved me the real Karin, they loved my persona or tolerated my persona. And let me tell you, there is nothing more exhausting than pretending to be someone that you're not. It was one of the hardest years of my life. So here you are all worried about making a pivot and what others are gonna think about you. Will anyone stay in touch if I leave? What if I fail? Will others delight in my demise? Who cares? They don't even know the real you. They don't care about the real you. They only know the you that you created. And for me, when I finally really embraced and understood this concept, it was so freeing. And the more I embraced it, the easier it was for me to reinvent. Who would you be if you stopped hiding behind your persona? That is a very powerful question. L astly, and I want to be really blunt here. Please don't take it too personally. Your pride is getting the best of you. I'm not saying you can't be proud of your accomplishments or who you are, but I am saying that you've probably given pride more than its fair share of space in your life. That's how your ego got so powerful in the first place. And I'm not talking about the cocky braggadocious person either, because that's not you. Most women aren't that way, but you have let your ability to climb the ladder and hit certain earnings tiers and titles. How'd your vision? You've given yourself that little extra pat on the back. You know what I'm talking about? And I know that this can be really hard to hear and I'm not judging you. Okay. Because I'm fighting this battle right alongside you every single day. I hope you'll look really deep into your heart and get honest with yourself about the role that pride is playing in your life. And I will give you a very recent example. Two nights ago, my husband and I went to see the Screwtape Letters at the theater. Fabulous play, by the way. And when we were walking out, we were talking about the play and I don't remember the exact conversation that we were having, but there was a way for me to kind of mention that I was an author and, you know, oh, well in my book, like just kind of position it in a way that the couples around me would hear what I was saying. And I have this thought like, oh, well, if I say this and I say my book, then people around me are going to turn around and look and be like, oh, we have an author among us. Right. Cause I didn't want just him to hear the thought I was having. I wanted to say it loudly enough that others would turn around and like, that's sick. I know. But real talk. I thankfully caught myself and was like, Karin, why are you going to say that? You're going to say that because you want other people to turn around and see that you're an author. Right? So I had to quickly get my pride in check, but let me tell you what unchecked I'd be a monster. If I did not consciously think about the role that pride is playing in my life every single day, I would just be out. I would be that braggadocious person, right? So it's something I have to constantly work on. And for me, because I have a very spiritual life, right? I've had to ask God, like, what is the role that you want pride playing in my life? Where can I be more humble in my life? Right? And so a lot of times my prayer is just simply like, God, change my heart. So that I don't want to be so prideful or that I don't need to get praise from others. And if you're not religious, that's okay, right? Just how would you be more humble without your ego, right? How would being more humble help you show up differently, serve others differently? What actions would I feel more comfortable taking if I let go of my pride? because we know pride is one of the seven deadly sins. So regardless of your spiritual background, this is not a positive thing. So let's look at this from an example, right? Let's say that you are at a crossroads right now. And you're like, okay, I'm in this role in this career. I've been here for several years. I've kind of got two options. I can either go for a promotion at my current company, or I can leave and start my own business. Like which direction am I going to go? If you have a lot of pride and ego, that's an easy option, right? You're just gonna go for the promotion. That way you can say you finally made it to director or VP, and you can finally say you made X amount of money. But here's the thing. Oh, please don't take this too hard. No one cares. No one actually cares. There was a golfer the other day. I saw his post on Instagram. I shared it in my stories, but he said, I worked my whole life to win this tournament, So what? Who cares? He's like, it's not fulfilling. He's like, yeah, it's great. I accomplished it, but this isn't a fulfilling life. Then I'm like, okay, now where do we go for dinner? Right? It's like, you work so hard to achieve this thing. And then it's like, okay, next. So I hate to like be the bearer of bad news, but This is your ego. This is your pride pushing you. And if you let that go, you might realize that you can start a business and make nearly as much money as you did, but now do it on your terms. And that's a pretty admirable thing to do, right? That's pretty bad-ass, is it not? Going back to my first point, you'll have no shortage of things to feed your ego. I promise you that. But what if we even look at it more humbly? You won't have to have performance anxiety anymore because you won't be in that state of having to prove something to someone or prove to everyone that you can do this business. Instead, you'll just be you executing to the best of your ability, living out your most authentic life. What could be more freeing than that? But you have to be willing to let go of pride or at the very least, put it in check. So there you have it, four ways to ditch your ego so that you can truly reinvent your life and be the person you were created to be. As a reminder, First, you're gonna make sure you lean into that ego. See all the ways that you can feed it. I think you'll be very surprised. Then you're gonna ditch that mask because you are hiding behind that and it is just preventing you from being your authentic self. Then you're gonna stop hiding behind your persona because it's not even the real you and people are just like in love with this idea of who they think you are. And then we're gonna tamp down our pride. And if you want support with any of these things that we discussed today, be sure to keep listening for how to book a complimentary empowered exit call with me. I would love to help you wreck your reinvention. Thanks for tuning in. I hope you're inspired to take action by committing to one of the tips or strategies we talked about in today's episode. If you want more accountability and support, I've got your back. Book a complimentary empowered exit strategy call today. Visit karinfreeland.com to learn more and book your 45-minute session.