5 Tips For How to Play Big (and Stop Playing Small) (#90)

Are you tired of shrinking to fit inside a corporate box that no longer lights you up? In this episode, I’m sharing 5️⃣ powerful tips to help you stop playing small and finally start playing big in your life and career.

If you’ve ever felt the pull to leave your six-figure corporate job and start your own business—but fear or perfectionism keeps holding you back—this is your wake-up call. I break down the exact mindset shifts and steps you need to take to embrace your calling and create the life you actually want (not the one you were told to want).

We’ll cover:
 ✔️ How to quiet the inner critic
 ✔️ What it really means to embrace your calling
 ✔️ Why messy action beats perfect inaction
 ✔️ The importance of focusing on your #1 priority
 ✔️ And why investing in yourself is the key to growth

You don’t need to have it all figured out to get started—you just need to be done playing small. Tune in and let’s make your next move your boldest one yet!

Looking for more dedicated support? Book a complimentary Empowered Exit™ Call today.

If you're looking for additional support through coaching, visit my website to learn more about working together and my signature program EDIT Your Life™: www.karinfreeland.com/life-coaching

Then book a call here!

Not ready for coaching? Get a copy of my self-help book: Grab Life by the Dreams!

Transcript

Karin Freeland: 0:00

Welcome to Rock Your Reinvention, where I help high-achieving career women like you get unstuck, make your corporate exit strategy, and successfully transition to your next chapter. Hi, I'm your host, Karin Freeland, a certified life coach and corporate exit strategist. Whether you want to start a business, become a speaker, or something else, I'm here to give you the tools and strategies to shift your mindset, build your confidence, and take bold actions so you can rock your reinvention. Ready? Let's go. Welcome back to Rock Your Reinvention. Today, we are talking about five tips for how to play big and stop playing small. I remember the first time that my coach brought up this idea of playing big. It felt like she had just cracked open all of my insecurities and empowered me in the same breath. Because on one hand, I was genuinely terrified, like playing big, More eyeballs on me, more chances to screw up and fail in front of a bigger audience. Yeah, no thanks. And on the other hand, I was like a giddy schoolgirl who was given the keys to the school and could do whatever she wanted. No constraints, no confines holding me back. I could be, do, and say whatever I thought made sense to achieve my goals. And that was so freeing. And while I left the call with a concept that could fuel me, and it definitely did, I didn't really understand in that moment how that translated into action. And so that's what I'm going to attempt to provide to you today. What does it really mean to play big? What are the things we do differently to go from playing small to playing big? Now, of course I can't know your specific situation. So I'm going to take this from the perspective of leaving your corporate job and starting your own business, since that's probably why you're listening to my show. So here we go. Five tips to start playing big and stop playing small. The first thing you're going to want to do is quiet the inner critic. Now, if you've been listening to my show for a while, this is not the first time I have brought up the inner critic. And I'm starting with this very intentionally because quite frankly, this is what's holding you back the most, whether you care to admit it or not, your own negative thoughts are your Achilles heel. But the good news about this is that you have a hundred percent control over turning this around. So how does one go about quieting the inner critic? I'm gonna share two tips with you today. And the first one are these daily positive affirmations. And this is the practice of catching yourself saying something negative to yourself. So maybe for example, you say, oh, I could never start a business. I don't know how to run a company. I've only worked at big organizations. And then turning it around to something positive. Like I bet I could figure out how to run a business with the right support, Or, I am a great business owner. Now let me explain the difference between these two statements. The first one that I shared with you is what I like to call a bridge statement. It's something that's a little more attainable that you can truly believe about yourself in the short term. And I'll just say it again for you. I bet I could figure out how to run a business with the right support. That's much more attainable. And then it will help you get to that second statement later that says, I am a great business owner. A lot of my clients have a hard time going from one extreme to the other, and you probably would as well. So I found that these bridge statements are really helpful. Then you want to repeat the reframed thought daily. Yes, for real, daily. That's the only way you'll actually rewire your brain. Okay, the second thing you can do to quiet that inner critic is actually engage with your inner critic. Yeah, I know it might seem a little crazy, but we wanna discover what is she really trying to tell you through her message? Because on the surface, she sounds really harsh, right? She is not very nice, but maybe beneath that message, She has something to share with you that could benefit you. So let's say you're going to leave your job and start a social media marketing agency and your inner critic starts berating you about how you're rushing into this and you should just wait. This isn't the right time. You're not capable of doing this on your own. And you say, okay, inner critic, I hear you. Tell me more. You start getting curious and asking your inner critic, what are you so worried about? Why are you so against this idea that I have? And maybe you discover that she's still harping on that time in college when you tried to do an MLM for a weight loss supplement and it wasn't successful. And upon that further dialogue, you find that she's worried you're jumping in without enough planning, like you did with the MLM. And now you're in a place where you can thank your inner critic for pointing that out and then share all the ways that you're planning to avoid that situation from playing out again, like making a business plan or hiring a coach, et cetera. So sometimes we read the messages from our inner critic on that surface level, but what we really need to be doing is digging deeper so that we can find out why she's so worried and then get our inner critic on board with our goals and our plans. And the sooner you can use these two techniques to quiet your inner critic, the sooner you'll stop playing small and start playing big. The second tip I have for you to play big is to embrace your calling. Now, you may be at the stage of your career where your day job doesn't feel like a calling anymore, and that's okay. You may have another idea or desire that excites you. That's a start, but are you really embracing it or are you resisting it? And embracing it can be hard to do. It may be inconvenient to embrace your calling. Leaving my six figure salary wasn't easy, but staying put was really me just playing small because I didn't trust myself. I didn't believe in myself. And so it got to the point where I could no longer ignore my burning desire for something else. Now, what the heck is a burning desire? What is that that I keep mentioning? Well, there's a book called Think and Grow Rich for Women by Sharon Lecter. I really enjoyed reading it. I thought it was very helpful. And she calls a burning desire the need to do something or accomplish something. She says it starts out as an idea, but then becomes a driving force behind your everyday actions. And when you combine a definite goal with a burning desire to achieve it, you have the necessary fuel, the stamina, the motivation, the drive to create and execute a plan to achieve that goal successfully. And so we have to remember that we were given this desire for a reason. This new thing that you wanna go after and you wanna go get, that was put there by your creator for a very special reason, because that's your purpose. That's what you're here to fulfill. And so the sooner we can embrace our true calling, and stop letting the cares of the world and the earthly desire for financial freedom and all, not that you can't have some of those things, right? But when they are so at the forefront that you are sacrificing your burning desire, you are not living in alignment with why you are here. You're not living in alignment with your purpose. So what would need to change for you to start fully embracing your calling? And maybe you wanna take a moment to just jot those ideas down, capture them right now while it's fresh in your brain. What would need to change for you to start fully embracing your calling? And maybe it's just taking that first step in starting your LLC, registering the name of your business. I don't know what it could be, but you wanna send that signal to your brain, like, hey, we're doing this. Okay, the third way for you to play big is to take messy action. And I know some of you are already like, ah, messy action. Why not perfect action? We'll talk about that in a second. But one of the quotes that I share in my book, Grab Life by the Dreams, is take your dream, start taking action, and before you know it, your dream will be a reality. That's from the Canadian poet Catherine Pulsifer. And she clearly didn't play small, right? She had a wonderful career. The point is you can't just have a dream to make it happen. You have to actually take some action. And nowhere does it say that the action has to be right every time or perfect or flawless. So often you want to get everything perfect and wait until you have all your ducks in a row before you get started. But that is a huge mistake because you are wasting precious time. This is one of the ways that keeps you playing small. Taking action, especially messy, imperfect action is the only way to move forward, which means that perfectionists need to take note. Go listen to episode 74. If you feel like perfectionism is derailing you and you want help overcoming it, go listen to episode 74 of the show and I will help you through that. And I was just talking to one of my clients about this in one of our coaching sessions. She wanted to create and boost some sales, creates a cash injection for her business and boost sales this summer. And she wanted to address specifically some of the recent potential clients who said no to her high ticket offer because they felt like they couldn't afford her. And so her natural tendency was to go out and build this like really complicated offer and make a landing page and this big old funnel that would go with it and do a bunch of social posts. And all that just felt heavy and like a lot of work and energy that she was going to have to expend. And I was really trying to get her to see that all you need to do is go back and literally just offer a smaller package to everyone that's declined. Like personal outreach, that's it. No need for flashy marketing here. And it was a huge light bulb moment because she realized that she could be scrappy in this moment. And she could just share it on her podcast and do a little personal outreach and it would be a much lighter lift. It's that imperfect action. Because what do we see online? We see all these people with these perfect businesses and we see them with these huge big email funnels and all these crazy things that they're doing. But in reality, that's not how most people run their business. So for you, what action have you been avoiding because you're trying to get it perfect? What is the messy first step that you could take? Because by not taking that first step and doing it messy, that's keeping you small. It's so funny because I see this, especially with book writing. Like I have so many women that talk to me and they're like, Karin, I wanna know how to write a book. I have all these ideas. I'm like, there's no secret sauce to writing a book. You just start putting words on paper. You write a really, really crappy first draft and it will be crappy, okay? And then you refine it and then you make it great, okay? So just put the words on paper. It's gonna be messy. It's gonna suck. That's okay. It's part of the process. So go take some messy action towards your goals Watch that dream come true one step at a time. Okay, the fourth thing you can do to start playing big is focus on your number one priority. Okay, AKA, I like to call this eyes on the prize because you do not want to dilute your actions or your energy. If you do, then your impact is going to be diluted as well. And we obviously don't want that. I know you want to change the world 15 ways at a time. I do too. I have the same big crazy ambitions as you. But really, you just need to get laser focused on your top priority and go all in on that. For example, last year, I decided that I was going to go all in on my podcast for 2025. Like that was going to be my main focus. And I've done a lot less speaking than usual, less social posts on Instagram, less more focus on the podcast, and it has actually really been driving listeners. So what do you think happened? My show grew, right? And that's exactly what I wanted. But the previous year, my show was kind of an afterthought. It wasn't the main thing, so it stayed small and it didn't bring me in as many clients as it should have. This is the power of focusing. This also means you have to say no to anything and everything that doesn't align or serve your top priority. Let me say that again, just in case you zoned out for a second. This means you have to say no, okay? If it does not help you achieve your top priority, you need to say no to that thing. Someone recently asked me to volunteer for a program at my church, and while I can tell you it is a beautiful program and I would be honored to be part of that, I had to say no so I could continue to say yes to my priorities. When we say yes to everything, we make less progress on our dreams and we play small. Playing big requires boundaries, saying no, and relentlessly focusing on what matters most. And remember that this might only be for a season, okay? So this isn't forever that that's the only thing you're gonna focus on. So for example, when I was writing my book, Grab Life by the Dreams, that was my main focus, right? But then after the book was written, I could start to focus on other things like my podcast. Maybe your priority is getting your master's or healing from burnout or building a side hustle. Whatever it is, go all in on it so that you can play big. And the fifth tip that I want to share with you today is to invest in yourself. People who play small, they don't invest in themselves. And I wish that this went without saying, but you have to value yourself and get the support that you need if you want to play big. And this is not a matter of deserving it. Whether you deserve it or not. And I coach a lot of moms and they always tell me they don't want to spend money on themselves. Okay, so here's what I will say. Tough love alert. If you don't value you, no one else is going to. So have fun playing small. Sorry, too blunt, maybe. But you'll thank me later because it's what you needed to hear. I really want you to pay for the support you need. I want you to take the classes that you need to take, to get the coaching that you need, whatever it is to get you to the next level. And in chapter 14 of Grab Life by the Dreams, I share my tips for investing yourself because it's not actually always financially, although that's definitely a piece of it. I share the acronym TEMPL. I call it the temple of your dreams. And it stands for, and it's just T-E-M-P-L. There's no E at the end. But that temple stands for time, energy, money, people, and learning. And we don't have time to go through all of those today, but I'll just give you the people example in this instance. Sometimes in order to play bigger, you need to invest your time and energy in building relationships or in networking. You need the right connections who can lift you up and bring you along for the ride. And I could give you a million examples from my life, but I'm just going to give you an example of one that I had the privilege of witnessing in real time. So I was attending this online event hosted by Jamie Kern Lima, who is the founder of IT Cosmetics, and she was doing a launch for her book. And she brought up one of her friends on stage to share her story of believing in herself. And while she's speaking, I'm on Instagram because I'm like, I want to follow this lady. She's very inspirational. This is such an interesting story. And I'm just literally watching her following go up by the thousands, the hundreds. Every time I refresh, she's got a batch load new of followers. And I'm like, wow, this is so amazing. And it was really the first time that I witnessed the power of bringing others along with you and the value of investing in the right relationships. So who do you need in your life to help you achieve your dreams? And how can you be this for someone else, right? Maybe you're the person who can help pull someone along too. Don't be afraid to invest your time, your energy, your money, invest in the relationships and in learning to achieve your dreams. Because when you do, it will pay off big time. And before you know it, You're going to be playing bigger than you even imagined was possible. And that gets me super excited for you. So there you have it. My five tips for playing big, which in turn will help you stop playing small. Number one, quiet that inner critic. No more negative thoughts. And if you do have negative thoughts, let's dig a little deeper to find out why. What is your inner critic trying to save you from? Number two, we've got to embrace that calling. Even if it's inconvenient, we got to go all in on what that burning desire is that we were given. Number three, take that messy action because there's no such thing as perfection. So you're just wasting for something that you can never wasting time waiting for something you can never possibly achieve. Number four, focus, focus, focus, keep your eyes on the prize. Go all in on that number one priority and start saying no to the things that don't align. And number five, invest in yourself. And if you are ready to invest in your dreams and get some one-on-one coaching support from me, be sure to keep listening for how to book an empowered exit call or check the show notes. Now go rock your reinvention!