How to Embrace Your Authentic Self More Easily (#72)

Being your authentic self sounds simple, but in reality, it’s one of the hardest things to do—especially for go-getter females like YOU. Many of us have spent years adapting to corporate expectations, putting on masks to fit in, and striving for perfection. But deep down, you know something’s missing. True fulfillment comes when you align with your real self in your career, relationships, and life.

In this episode, we’ll uncover why it’s so challenging to show up authentically, how societal conditioning and perfectionism play a role, and practical strategies to reconnect with your true self. Whether you're preparing to leave corporate or have recently transitioned into entrepreneurship, embracing your authenticity will help you build a business and life that feels genuinely aligned.

Key Takeaways:

✅ Authenticity requires deep self-awareness and self-acceptance.
✅ Journaling, personality assessments, and evaluating how you spend your time can help reveal whether you're living in alignment.
✅ Silence is a powerful tool—though uncomfortable at first, it allows you to process thoughts and uncover your true desires.
✅ Being authentic doesn’t mean oversharing; it means showing up as your true self in a way that aligns with your values.
✅ When you embrace authenticity, you not only create a fulfilling life but also inspire others to do the same.

Ready to dive deeper? Grab a copy of Grab Life by the Dreams for more mindset shifts and exercises to help you embrace your authentic self. Order at karinfreeland.com/dreams.

Let’s start living authentically—because the world needs you! 

If you're looking for additional support through coaching, visit my website to learn more about working together and my signature program EDIT Your Life™: www.karinfreeland.com/life-coaching

Then book a call here!

Not ready for coaching? Get a copy of my self-help book: Grab Life by the Dreams!

Transcript

Karin Freeland: 0:00

Welcome to Rock Your Reinvention, where I help high-achieving career women like you get unstuck, make your corporate exit strategy, and successfully transition to your next chapter. Hi, I'm your host, Karin Freeland, a certified life coach and corporate exit strategist. Whether you want to start a business, become a speaker, or something else, I'm here to give you the tools and strategies to shift your mindset, build your confidence, and take bold actions so you can rock your reinvention. Ready? Let's go. Today, I want to talk about a really important topic and often overlooked idea, being your authentic self. On the surface, it sounds really easy. Just show up and be you. But in reality, it's more than that. It is so much more involved. You know, you hear people saying things like, what you see is what you get. But I find more often than not, it's not true. You might use these types of sayings to protect yourself as a coping mechanism. Or you might have a past wound that has created boundaries around your heart. And that's now given you permission to put on a mask. Now look, before we go any further, I just want you to know that I have had my fair share of masks too. I've had my coping mechanisms, but no matter how many masks and mechanisms I employed, I was never truly happy except when I was being my authentic self. In life, in career, in love, and in friendships. Authenticity equals happiness and fulfillment. Is that what you want? Of course it is. That's why you're here. Now, you might be wondering, well, why don't I show up authentically? Most simply put, we all have a desire to be loved, to be appreciated, to be wanted, needed. We want people to enjoy being around us, to fit in, to belong. And some of this goes back to our ancestral needs. Right back in the day, think about this. If you were kicked out of the tribe, you literally wouldn't survive. So this is a very deeply rooted, it's a core need that is within us. And we will do just about anything, including transforming ourselves, aka abandoning ourselves in order to meet that need. But perfectionism runs rampant among successful women too, right? We're always striving to do more and to be more and to do it all perfectly, right? And that impacts our ability to show up as our true selves as well. And when we don't get something right and we aren't perfect, we hide, we shy away from that. How do we know we're being our authentic self? Or if we're not being our authentic self? Well, in order to be authentic, you have to first know who your true self actually is. And that requires a lot. of self-awareness. And here's the and word. This is an or. This is and. Self-acceptance. Because even if you're aware of things about yourself, but you don't accept and embrace it, then you're not going to be able to show up authentically. Now, there's both formal and informal ways of discovering this. You know, a formal way might be something like taking a personality test. Let's take DISC, for example. It's going to tell you how you are naturally and at work. So if at work you find out, oh, I'm a high D, you know, really dominant personality, outgoing, all those kinds of things, but I'm all business, like just get it done. But at home, I'm actually a high C. You're going to discover, oops, I'm out of alignment. I'm not how I naturally am naturally. when I'm at work. And that's exhausting to have to show up every day as a high D. I am a high D, so I know how much energy that takes. And if that's not really you, that's gonna drain you. It's gonna lead to burnout, to job dissatisfaction, to unfulfillment. So it's really important to employ some of those more formal ways, but I think there's a lot of less formal ways too, and things that you can do to discover who you authentically are. One of those things could be creating a personal mission statement and seeing how close you are to living that mission. What would need to change to get you closer to it? Do you like the mission statement you wrote? You know, you might write it based on your current job and then realize, oh, I don't even like reading this. I don't want this to be my personal mission. That's okay too. You're starting to become more authentic to yourself. You can also evaluate how you spend your time. Do you enjoy it? Be honest with yourself. It's okay if the job you're in now once served you and it's no longer serving you. You're in a new season of life. You have changed. You've become someone else. And now to embrace that authentically, you need to recognize that some things in your life aren't working for you. Journaling is a great way to unearth some of the masks that we wear and why we are wearing them. It's a safe space where we can really explore some of these thoughts and ideas. Most of us know when we are out of alignment with what we enjoy. I mean, I think back to some of the jobs that I enjoyed the most in my corporate career. And training hands down was like number one. It was one of my favorite, favorite jobs. And looking back now, that makes so much sense to me. It was the most aligned for me. I was getting to help people in their career. I was coaching them, supporting them, cheering them on, giving them tips and tools for helping them perform better in their job. It sounds a lot like what I do today, except now I do it for myself and I do it on topics that actually excite me, not like how to use this sales system, this IT system, or how to be a better salesperson. I'm actually training on things that are important to me and important to my clients. So it can be really helpful for you to take some inventory of the aspects of your job that you like and the strengths that you believe you have. Another really important key to finding your authentic self is silence. I'm not sure how you feel about the S word, but silence really is a game changer. I did not like silence at first at all, not even a little bit. I hated being alone with my thoughts because most of them were very painful. Things like, I'm wasting my life in a job I hate. And I don't see a way out. I mean, that's not a fun experience. It's not really like an enjoyable place to hang out. But the more you drown it out, the longer you actually suffer. It's like running away from a storm and then always having it nipping at your heels instead of being like the buffalo and just turning and facing the storm head on and then being through it in an hour. Now, okay, maybe you're not going to get through your life storm in an hour, but you get the point. It's going to be much faster to look at all the things that you're not being authentic about and deal with them than to just continue to brush it off and suffer in silence. Although your suffering in silence has no silence. So let's spend a moment on what authenticity isn't, okay? total disregard for others. You might be tempted to say something like, okay, so what? You just want me to show up and be myself without worrying about others? Just like no holds barred, like let's go. That's not exactly what I'm saying, right? We have to know our audience. And I believe that there is authenticity in making choices for how you show up. So for example, when I see some of my BFFs from high school, like I might divulge a little bit about a hot night with my husband, right? But I'm not going to show up to women's Bible study and share those details. So just because I may not share all of me all the time, it doesn't mean I'm not being authentic. Because I'm not withholding that information out of shame or embarrassment. I'm withholding it out of classiness, right? I'm choosing tact. Just like I wouldn't use the F word in front of my kids, it doesn't mean I'm not authentic with them. It's just being a responsible mom and parenting and modeling a way that I want them to talk, right? Leading by example. So don't feel like you suddenly need to walk around naked and share your every thought that pops in your head. That's not what I'm saying when I tell you to be more authentic. And I think you probably know that. But just in case, I wanted to address it. It does mean, however, no more hiding those ugly parts. We all have them. I mean, good grief. Mine comes out once a month in the form of PMS. I turn into a raging witch for three solid days. And I don't like who I become in those moments. And it requires a lot of patience, humility, which means I have to apologize a lot to people, and grace and understanding and open communication with my husband, especially. Maybe you have some vulnerabilities that you try to hide. Maybe you want to keep up that tough girl facade. How freeing would it be for you to just embrace those vulnerabilities and let go of a fake image that you're trying to keep up? Again, you don't have to sit down on the first date or the first interview and divulge it all, but you can bring your whole self to the table. And when you do, you're going to shine in a way that only you can shine. Now, what happens when we don't live authentically? And I think that this is an important way to look at it as well. Let's look at the flip side. I mean, is it just no big deal? Like, oh, all right, whatever. I'm just going to keep wearing this mask, keep using these coping mechanisms. It's just short-term pain for me. I'm thinking of the good of my family. I'm just going to stay and slug it out in this corporate job, even though I'm miserable. But that's what my family needs me to do. I mean, I would question that anyway. Is that really good for your family? No. But what about the legacy we want to leave? Are we impacting the legacy that we leave when we don't live authentically? I believe so. Because when we live our lives for others, we miss out on being who we were created to be. We miss out on opportunities to pursue joy and to inspire others. Think about that. how many people you could impact and give permission to to be themselves if you were yourself. I'll give you an example of what I mean by that. So I recently consecrated my business to the sacred heart of Jesus. And I never would have had the confidence to actually tell anyone I did it. Like I would have just done it at my church and then never told anyone. But because my business coach has demonstrated amazing leadership in this area and she has started to share her faith more boldly, it's given me the strength to do the same. And so I would just ask you, how do you want to be remembered? What do you want people to remember you for? I didn't want my kids to just remember me as a workaholic mom that always had her face in her phone. Right now, I get to inspire them to follow their dreams and my husband to follow his. He opened his electrician's business. And it's been so fun to watch him bring his baby to fruition. And I can't wait to see who else brings their dreams to fruition. Hopefully, I'm inspiring you. to follow yours. But you can't do that unless you live authentically. I want to leave you with one last thought, and it comes from my book, Grab Life by the Dreams. And this is from chapter 10. And it says, when I used to tell people my first book's title, I would brace myself, maybe wince a bit, waiting for their reaction. Sometimes I would even preface it with, don't let the title scare you. or well, it's not for everyone, but over time I realized their reaction had nothing to do with me. That was on them. I found the courage to own my power and know that the right people would receive my book with humor and open arms. I no longer needed to shrink behind the title. I could be the real me, no matter who I was around, or what room I was in. Are you ready to be the real you? Are you ready to unapologetically show up and own who you are 100%? I truly hope you are because what is on the other side of that is freedom. Freedom to be who you truly are all day, every day. Even if we don't share it all, we're still us. We're still us. the person that we are and that we were created to be. I really want to encourage you to start being more of yourself. And I know it can feel a little scary, but you have a beautiful uniqueness about you. And only you can be you. I don't know if you ever heard this song by Meghan Trainor. It's called Me Too. And there's an awesome line where she says, and even if they tried to, they can't do it like I do. And that's just like such a mic drop moment for me because it's so true. No one else can be you. And you know what? You can't be anyone else. So you can try to emulate all the other successful women in your life. You can try to emulate other business owners, other people in the C-suite. You can emulate the crap out of others. But you're never going to be truly satisfied and fulfilled because you're not being you. And the sooner you embrace this, the sooner you'll experience fulfillment, ensure your legacy, and empower others to live more authentically. So if you're still struggling with this idea of being yourself, I would highly encourage you to pick up a copy of Grab Life by the Dreams. There's so many more tips and exercises in there that are gonna help you do this with confidence. It's gonna help your mindset and so much more. You can go to karenfreeland.com forward slash dreams to order it. Again, that's Karin, K-A-R-I-N, Freeland, F-R-E-E-L-A-N-D.com forward slash dreams and get your copy of ebook, audio book, or paperback, whatever you prefer. All right, that does it for today's episode. Thank you for being here and go live authentically. to learn more and book your 45-minute session. Until next time, stay fabulous.